My first born son is getting older.
Today I sent him off for his first day of middle school. Middle school - guerrilla warfare for tweens. As I watched him walk away to the bus stop I realized that he didn't have clue what he was getting himself into.
You see, I went to middle school. I survived it, not everyone was so lucky. I fear that things have only gotten worse.
I went to the "Back to school Fair" a few days ago and what I saw chilled me to the bone.
Girls
Middle school girls
Middle School Girls with BOOBS! (as an aside, put those things away for about the next 10 year, kay? kay!)
Now, there are probably some of you out there in internet land with middle school girls, and I'm sure that you are good people. I'm sure that you are trying your very hardest to keep your little girls from turning into what one friend of mine calls "prosta-teens".
But maybe I can have a swing at it.
You, Middle School Girl....take a step into my office. And leave the cell phone, you can survive 50 seconds with out texting....really!!
Ok dear, lets get a few things out of the way here. When it comes to make-up less is more....when it comes to clothing more is more, you seem to have these two confused.
Second, calling another girl a bitch doesn't make you cool, if anything it sort of makes you a bitch. We as women, and you will one day be a woman...but not yet, have enough crap to deal with without dragging each other down. Take care of your girlfriends and they will take care of you.
Finally, we all know that you mature faster than boys do. While you are thinking about S-E-X my son is mostly only worried about the next minecraft update. If you mess with my innocent little boy, all those evil things that you dream of doing to that girl who stole your boyfriend or looks better in that micro-mini than you will be visited upon you tenfold. Do not underestimate me.
Now off you go! Have a lovely school year, dearie!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Zen and the Art of Lawnmower Maintance
Part of being a fabulous single woman is having to do the things around the house that my ex-husband used to do. Now, truth be told, that is not a very long list, but that is a topic for another day....
Mowing the lawn was always the purview of the man of the house. Even when my husband was gone for weeks at a time I never mowed the lawn. (I just sort of let it grow wild out there and hoped that all of the children made it home at the end of the day.) Now that I'm on my own mowing the lawn is the chore that I dread the most.
Lawn mowers are the culmination of everything I hate. They are loud. They smell bad. They can remove a limb if you're not careful. These are, in my opinion, not positive qualities in a car, a man or a power tool.
The first time I tried to mow the lawn I spent about 15 minutes pulling that damn string before I realized that you have to hold the handle down at the same time. Then there was the time that the lawnmower ran out of gas. I didn't know where to put the gas. I didn't know what kind of gas to use (diesel? unleaded? kerosine????) I had heard some vague whispering about mixing oil with the gas, did that still happen? How did you do that? I HAD NO CLUE!!!
But then ... I figured it out. I harnessed the power of Google, the owner's manual and my very lawn savvy neighbor and somehow managed to keep my lawnmower in functioning condition.
I still hate mowing the lawn, but now when I look out there and see my (poorly) mown lawn it just reminds me that I can do stuff on my own....I'm actually sort of kick ass.
Mowing the lawn was always the purview of the man of the house. Even when my husband was gone for weeks at a time I never mowed the lawn. (I just sort of let it grow wild out there and hoped that all of the children made it home at the end of the day.) Now that I'm on my own mowing the lawn is the chore that I dread the most.
Lawn mowers are the culmination of everything I hate. They are loud. They smell bad. They can remove a limb if you're not careful. These are, in my opinion, not positive qualities in a car, a man or a power tool.
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| I never look this happy mowing my lawn |
The first time I tried to mow the lawn I spent about 15 minutes pulling that damn string before I realized that you have to hold the handle down at the same time. Then there was the time that the lawnmower ran out of gas. I didn't know where to put the gas. I didn't know what kind of gas to use (diesel? unleaded? kerosine????) I had heard some vague whispering about mixing oil with the gas, did that still happen? How did you do that? I HAD NO CLUE!!!
But then ... I figured it out. I harnessed the power of Google, the owner's manual and my very lawn savvy neighbor and somehow managed to keep my lawnmower in functioning condition.
I still hate mowing the lawn, but now when I look out there and see my (poorly) mown lawn it just reminds me that I can do stuff on my own....I'm actually sort of kick ass.
Monday, August 25, 2014
What I want to be when I grow up......
As part of being a newly single woman I am obligated to find a job. (I had initially just assumed that I would sponge off of my ex for several decades, but he seems to thing that's not how it should be...go figure.)
It's been a little over a year that I've been seriously searching and I have to tell you...pickin's are slim out there my friends! Being a mom gets a lot of lip service. No one will ever tell you that being a mother is a waste of your time, that would be down-right unAmerican! But when you tell an employer that you've spend the last 8 years being a stay at home mother they look at you like you should be carrying an apple pie instead of a resume.
I don't have to tell you, my fellow mothers, that being a mother (stay at home or otherwise) is no walk in the park. In fact, mothers have developed several valuable skills that can easily transition to the workplace. Let me enumerate several for you....
1. Time Management - I can get three kids to three different activities at three different locations, do a load of laundry, cut out three dozen paper apples for a kindergarden class, bake brownies for Elementary School movie night, mow the lawn and have dinner on the table at 6pm without batting an eyelash....That's a typical day for a mom, I'd like to see the CEO of Microsoft take on THAT schedule!
2. People Skills - A mother often must work with small people who can be demanding, unreasonable, rune and often in need of a nap. If we can manage these sorts of people difficult co-workers or prickly clients are a cake walk.
3. Budgeting - Feed three kids for a month on less than $300 - check. Make difficult budget cuts including canceling cable and going from good wine to two-buck-chuck - check. Forgoing the current season of Sherlock until it's (FINALLY) available on Netflix - checkedy-check-check. Mom's know how to stretch a dollar and where to cut back in their budget to keep things running during slim times.
4. Professionalism - Moms are SO beyond the drama. We know what matters and what doesn't. As a mother you only have so much time in the day to worry. We've learned that worrying about who the trendy teen idol is dating or who is wearing what to work isn't worth our valuable time. We'd rather worry about doing the best job that we can do, mastering out trade and growing in our careers.
As you can see, mom skills are really quite valuable and easily transferable to the modern workplace. Now....if anyone is looking for a molecular biologist with these skills ...and more drop me a line!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
cha - cha - cha - CHANGES!
Big changes are afoot here at Chez Delinquent. I don't know if anyone still reads this blog and I guess for now it's ok if no one does. Over the past year things have gone all wee-wacky-woo-hoo and I've ended up as a single mom with three kids!
So ---yeah....divorce...the D word. When I tell people I get a lot of mixed reactions.
Most people say that they are sorry, which I guess is the "right" thing to say, but really, why would they be sorry? My marriage wasn't working and I think that everyone is better off now that we have acknowledged that and are moving in our own separate directions.
Some people want to know what happened. It's pretty hard to distill the issues that eventually broke apart a 15 year marriage into one pithy sentence that doesn't end up sounding a little bitter....so I usually just go with the standard, "We just grew apart." This is really just code for "A whole lot of crazy shit went down and if you really wanna know what happened you're gonna have to set aside a few hours and buy me a drink."
My favorite response came from a mother in my neighborhood who is one of those people who either tells it like it is or is a huge bitch, depending on your perspective. Frankly, I like her, you know where you stand with that woman....anyway, when I told her that I was getting divorced she replied "Oh thank GOD!" and proceeded to dish on my so to be ex.
Now my STBX is a nice enough guy, and I'm not blaming him for the divorce (well, maybe a little) but it was strangely cathartic to hear someone else justify my leaving my marriage.
Anyway...I'm not going to dwell. I'm happier than I was a year ago. Things have been hard, but they are getting better for everyone...I hope.
So I'm back, maybe no one wants to hear what I'm going to say, but that's cool. I've learned that sometimes you need to do stuff for yourself, and if someone else appreciates it that's just gravy!
So ---yeah....divorce...the D word. When I tell people I get a lot of mixed reactions.
Most people say that they are sorry, which I guess is the "right" thing to say, but really, why would they be sorry? My marriage wasn't working and I think that everyone is better off now that we have acknowledged that and are moving in our own separate directions.
Some people want to know what happened. It's pretty hard to distill the issues that eventually broke apart a 15 year marriage into one pithy sentence that doesn't end up sounding a little bitter....so I usually just go with the standard, "We just grew apart." This is really just code for "A whole lot of crazy shit went down and if you really wanna know what happened you're gonna have to set aside a few hours and buy me a drink."
My favorite response came from a mother in my neighborhood who is one of those people who either tells it like it is or is a huge bitch, depending on your perspective. Frankly, I like her, you know where you stand with that woman....anyway, when I told her that I was getting divorced she replied "Oh thank GOD!" and proceeded to dish on my so to be ex.
Now my STBX is a nice enough guy, and I'm not blaming him for the divorce (well, maybe a little) but it was strangely cathartic to hear someone else justify my leaving my marriage.
Anyway...I'm not going to dwell. I'm happier than I was a year ago. Things have been hard, but they are getting better for everyone...I hope.
So I'm back, maybe no one wants to hear what I'm going to say, but that's cool. I've learned that sometimes you need to do stuff for yourself, and if someone else appreciates it that's just gravy!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Menu Plan Monday
Around the same time I fell off the blogging bandwagon I also took a dive off of the menu planning train. My sanity and my pocketbook have suffered. So I'm back on the wagon 24 hours sober tomorrow!
Monday - Pulled Pork Burritos
Tuesday - Shrove Tuesday pancake dinner at St. John's - Swing by for great pancakes and other fat Tuesday goodies and watch your very own Domestic Delinquent Sling hash...or pancakes or whatever
Wednesday - Slow cooker italian meatball soup (Can I avoid burning in the fiery pits of hell if I don't eat the meatballs?)
Thursday - leftover soup (I have to get to eat it eventually!!)
Friday - Tuna Noodle Casserole.
So, I do try to be observant during Lent. I TRY not to eat meat on Fridays, but this presents certain challenges. My kids are all under the age of 14 and are therefore (technically) exempt from the rules of fasting, my husband is not particularly religious and is also therefore exempt. So, in the end, I'm the only one fasting and there are times where something's got to give and I end up with a meal of bread and cheese.
Also....I try to give something up for lent. Generally that something is chocolate. I've never made it. One year I made it to the very last week...but then my birthday fell about 5 days before Easter and someone bought me a chocolate cake. Now at the best of times when you put a cake in front of me I'm going to eat it. Couple that with the fact that I was turning 30 (yes the big 3-0) and I didn't have a chance. I ate that bugger before I knew what I was doing.
I'm not sure what to give up this year. I'm considering sleeping or oxygen, just so long as I can have my chocolate.
Monday - Pulled Pork Burritos
Tuesday - Shrove Tuesday pancake dinner at St. John's - Swing by for great pancakes and other fat Tuesday goodies and watch your very own Domestic Delinquent Sling hash...or pancakes or whatever
Wednesday - Slow cooker italian meatball soup (Can I avoid burning in the fiery pits of hell if I don't eat the meatballs?)
Thursday - leftover soup (I have to get to eat it eventually!!)
Friday - Tuna Noodle Casserole.
So, I do try to be observant during Lent. I TRY not to eat meat on Fridays, but this presents certain challenges. My kids are all under the age of 14 and are therefore (technically) exempt from the rules of fasting, my husband is not particularly religious and is also therefore exempt. So, in the end, I'm the only one fasting and there are times where something's got to give and I end up with a meal of bread and cheese.
Also....I try to give something up for lent. Generally that something is chocolate. I've never made it. One year I made it to the very last week...but then my birthday fell about 5 days before Easter and someone bought me a chocolate cake. Now at the best of times when you put a cake in front of me I'm going to eat it. Couple that with the fact that I was turning 30 (yes the big 3-0) and I didn't have a chance. I ate that bugger before I knew what I was doing.
I'm not sure what to give up this year. I'm considering sleeping or oxygen, just so long as I can have my chocolate.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Valentine's Day
So....I may have gone a little overboard on Valentine's day this year, which is totally unlike me!
I thought that it would be fun to make a bunch of homemade candies and whatnot and get the kids all whacked out on sugar.
I ended up making raspberry truffles, chocolate dipped marshmallows and meringue hearts. I bought the kids a bunch of Valentines-y stuff and did up the dining room for dinner...here is the result.
The paper heart garlands were made by cutting up a cheep book from the dollar store and then sewing the hearts together on my sewing machine. There is something very satisfying about sewing paper, it makes a very appealing crunching sound as the needle pierces the paper.
and yes...that is the selvage edge on the tablecloth...I'm not freaking Martha Stewart.
I thought that it would be fun to make a bunch of homemade candies and whatnot and get the kids all whacked out on sugar.
I ended up making raspberry truffles, chocolate dipped marshmallows and meringue hearts. I bought the kids a bunch of Valentines-y stuff and did up the dining room for dinner...here is the result.
The paper heart garlands were made by cutting up a cheep book from the dollar store and then sewing the hearts together on my sewing machine. There is something very satisfying about sewing paper, it makes a very appealing crunching sound as the needle pierces the paper.
and yes...that is the selvage edge on the tablecloth...I'm not freaking Martha Stewart.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Pink Marshmallows
In preparation for Valentine's day I tried to make homemade marshmallows yesterday...it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
The basic principle is fairly simple. You add a hot sugar solution to a gelatin solution and mix the bejeebers out of it. But, as always, the devil was in the details. Here is the recipe that I used (from NBC Washington) .
The basic principle is fairly simple. You add a hot sugar solution to a gelatin solution and mix the bejeebers out of it. But, as always, the devil was in the details. Here is the recipe that I used (from NBC Washington) .
Pomegranate Marshmallows
1 tablespoon powdered gelatin
½ cup pomegranate juice
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
¾ cup corn syrup
½ cup water
½ cup pomegranate juice
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
¾ cup corn syrup
½ cup water
Sprinkle the gelatin over the pomegranate juice in the bowl of an electric mixer. Let sit 5 minutes. Place over a double boiler (a pot that has water boiling) to heat & dissolve the gelatin.
Place the sugar, corn syrup and water in a pot and bring to a boil. Continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees on a candy thermometer or until you can place a small amount of the mixture into cold water and when you squeeze it, it has the feel of chewing gum.
Using caution, pour the hot syrup into the mixing bowl with the gelatin and juice. With the whisk attachment, whisk on high speed until cool, about 15 minutes. Place into a well oiled dish and let sit for 4 hours. Cut into desired shapes.
Place the sugar, corn syrup and water in a pot and bring to a boil. Continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees on a candy thermometer or until you can place a small amount of the mixture into cold water and when you squeeze it, it has the feel of chewing gum.
Using caution, pour the hot syrup into the mixing bowl with the gelatin and juice. With the whisk attachment, whisk on high speed until cool, about 15 minutes. Place into a well oiled dish and let sit for 4 hours. Cut into desired shapes.
I'm not going to say that they were a total failure...but they ain't stay-puft. I learned a few things that I will now graciously share with you.
- It takes for freeking EVER to get a sugar solution that last 10 degrees. I know that it's vital to have my sugar solution at the correct temperature...but I'm not known for my patience. I tried so so hard, but I may have been a degree or two short. This may have been my first mistake.
- This concoction will expand in your mixer. I made a double batch, and my mixer was very nearly overwhelmed. She photographic evidence below.
- Marashmallows need to breath - in an attempt to keep dust, pet hair and small children out of my marshmallows I covered them as they sat. I think that this was a mistake, I think that they sort of needed to dry out a little.
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| Before |
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| After |
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Surviving the pending Zombie Apocolypse
I was chatting with a friend the other day when I asked him, in the event of the inevitable zombie apocalypse, who would he eat first, me or a mutual friend of ours. Without hesitation he replied "you". NO hesitation, not even a courtesy pause! At that moment it became clear to me that my post-apocalyptic survival skill set is severely lacking.
Now, truth is, I'll probably never learn to weld, make my own shotgun shells or fashion working generator out of discarded bicycle parts, but it seems only prudent to pick up a few worthwhile skills.
It was time to take stock. I made a list of the practical real world skills that I currently posses:
So, clearly there are some holes in my apocalyptic planning so I've made a list of skills to acquire.
I'll keep you updated on my progress. In the meantime, here are some pertinent links to help you too be ready for the zombie apocalypse:
CDC - Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse
The Undead Report
Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
Now, truth is, I'll probably never learn to weld, make my own shotgun shells or fashion working generator out of discarded bicycle parts, but it seems only prudent to pick up a few worthwhile skills. It was time to take stock. I made a list of the practical real world skills that I currently posses:
- Knitting - should survivors need socks and be willing to wait a few years.
- Canning - I could probably put up enough food to last for the winter...though I can't necessarily promise that some survivors won't succumb to botulism.
- Soap making - ok...I don't really know how to do this, but I read a book once.
- Childbirth - ok, so I'm sort of pushing it at this point, but there will be the need to repopulate and I have some past experience is this field.
So, clearly there are some holes in my apocalyptic planning so I've made a list of skills to acquire.
- Sewing - just because zombies are roaming the streets doesn't mean that the survivor shouldn't sport the latest in brain smashing fashion.
- Gardening - an apple a day keeps the brain eating undead away.
- Chicken keeping - Gotta have protein!
I'll keep you updated on my progress. In the meantime, here are some pertinent links to help you too be ready for the zombie apocalypse:
CDC - Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse
The Undead Report
Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
Friday, August 13, 2010
Squatter in our Garage
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| Found hiding behind the freezer |
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| Getting a little too comfortable. |
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| Finally captured and ready for transport to the wildlife rehabilitator! |
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Chics dig vamps
I watched Twilight last night. It wasn't spectacularly great, but it got me thinking. The popularity of twilight combined with my recent obsession with the Buffy/Angel franchise has lead me to the conclusion that women love vampires. What exactly is the allure of the undead? I have a few theories.
1. Vampires are old. Generally women aren't into naive men. We like men who are experienced, worldly and wise. Vampires, for the most part, have had time to travel, experience the world. Chances are good that you aren't going to have to deal with a vamp buying a red convertible trying to regain his youth. The clincher here is that unlike old living men, vampires remain crazy sexy.
2. The undead seem to mate forlife ever. If Buffy and Twilight are any indication once you've snagged the unstaked heart of a vamp he's yours forever. They always seem to find their soulmate love of their life ummmmm.... Perfect partner. There is some sort of immediate connection that really takes the guesswork out of the whole dating thing. It also plays into my next point.
3. The tortured soul. Vampires always come off as having a tortured soul. No one understands them. No one except their chosen lady that is. She is the only one who really gets him. She's the only person he can open up to and be his charming self. It's cliched, but we like that. It makes us feel special...deal with it guys.
4. Vampires are romantic. It's like they've got a whole team of scriptwriters feeding them lines like "You're my life now" and "all I did was watch you sleep, but it was the best night of my life". I mean how is a regular unscripted guy supposed to compete with that?
5. Last, but not least is that vampires are dead sexy. So long as you don't need a guy with a tan, you can't get much hotter than the living dead.
1. Vampires are old. Generally women aren't into naive men. We like men who are experienced, worldly and wise. Vampires, for the most part, have had time to travel, experience the world. Chances are good that you aren't going to have to deal with a vamp buying a red convertible trying to regain his youth. The clincher here is that unlike old living men, vampires remain crazy sexy.
2. The undead seem to mate for
3. The tortured soul. Vampires always come off as having a tortured soul. No one understands them. No one except their chosen lady that is. She is the only one who really gets him. She's the only person he can open up to and be his charming self. It's cliched, but we like that. It makes us feel special...deal with it guys.
4. Vampires are romantic. It's like they've got a whole team of scriptwriters feeding them lines like "You're my life now" and "all I did was watch you sleep, but it was the best night of my life". I mean how is a regular unscripted guy supposed to compete with that?
5. Last, but not least is that vampires are dead sexy. So long as you don't need a guy with a tan, you can't get much hotter than the living dead.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The stupid psychic and why I don't go to McDonalds
I have amazing psychic powers. Unfortunatly, I am also amazingly stupid. I know full well that things I do will turn out badly, yet I still do them. I believe that that may be the definition of insanity.
Let me illustrate my point with the story of a recent road trip I took with my 3 boys.
This story actualyl takes place during the 5 hour drive home. It starts, as all good stories should, with a giant cup of coffee. When I purchased this enormous beverage I knew full well that consuming it would mean that I would need to pee as soon as the baby fell asleep. I still drank it. And, as predicted, the very moment my little one drifted peacefully to sleep I had to drag him (and my other two boys) into the joy that is a turnpike rest stop.
In order to stop the resulting whining, I agreed to allow each of them to pick out a bottle of pop. The both picked purple grape soda. Oh yes....the alarm bells went off in my head as well. But something, sleep deprivation, insanity, plain old stupidity, told me that it would be fine. Stop laughing..... Of course, I now have a big purple stain on the carpet in my car. Fortunatly the good people at Toyota are as smart as I am psychic and have made those carpets crazy stain resistant.
Roughly 47 seconds after leavin the rest stop, the 4 year old boy, who only 6 seconds ago refused to even consider going to the bathroom, had to go....NOW! I told him that he would have to hold it as the next rest stop about 30 minutes away. I knew that I should have stopped on the side of the road and let him go...I knew he wouldn't make it. Did I stop...nope. He was a trooper, he held on all the way to the rear stop but the combination of holding and walking proove to be too much for him. Poor kid peed his pants just outside the rest stop. The fact that he DIDN'T wet his carseat was an enormous blessing.
And then there was McDonald's. I am not a fan of McDonalds, but the kids needed a break and I was getting desperate. Frankly, I knew it was a bad idea. We pulled off the road and found McD's with a play area. My boys ran into the tunnel thing and immedietly ran out yelling "ewwww!".
What, you ask, could gross out a 7 year old boy? Poop. Right there in the play area. We immedietly vacated the area and I attempted to stearilize my children with purell. Being the good citizen that I am, I went back inside to inform the manager.
I pulled her aside, and said "I think that someone had an accident in the play area." She said "oh...okay".
Um....excuse me? No rush to shut the play area? No offer to comp my coffee? Not even an appology??? Flumoxed, I loaded my kids back into the car, applied another 3 gallons of purell and pulled out of the parking lot. As we were leaving, I looked in my rear view mirror only to see two unsuspecting children clammoring into the play area.
I vowed that we would not leave the car again until we arrived safely home...once again, I was, of course, correct.
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
You gotta eat
Let's talk about boobs. Breasts. Knockers. Boobies. Tatas. You get the idea (and my hit count from search engines probably just increased 10 fold).
Disclaimer: I breastfed my kids, of you didn't I still think that you are a perfectly good mother who loves her children. I don't think that you are poisoning them by feeding them formula. This isn't that sort of breastfeeding post...just so you know.
My boobs have been professionally employed for the last 8 years. I have nursed two boy children well into toddlerhood and plan to do the same with the third. I have nursed them pretty much everywhere from the mall to The Mall. (Hee hee, see what I did there? The second Mall is the area of our nations capital.) Recently a facebook friend mentioned some of the rediclous things people have said to her while nursing. Here is a small collection of the bizarre things that I personally have heard.
"Breastfeeding is SO hard.". - This is SO not true. I'm not one to subject myself to extra work. If something is hard, I'm probably not going to do it. Breastfeeding is a little hard to get started with, but once you and your baby get the hang of it, you can do it in your sleep - literally. Breastfeeding is, quite frankly, ideal for lazy moms like me. There is no mixing of formula, nothing ever needs to be heated up and there are no bottles to wash.
"You'll have to stop once he gets teeth". - Not really. Babies learn pretty quickly not to bite the boob that feeds them. I'm pretty sure that the screaming is a big deterent.
"It must be hard to have to feed every two hours". - Mind you, someone said this when my son was 10 months old. Breastmilk isn't some magical elixier of youth (I'd be rich I'd it were!). Breastfed babies grow up and eat solid food just like formula fed babies. You don't have to formula feed every 2 hours, so why wpuld you have to breastfeeding every two hours?
"The nurse could tell just by looking at that I wouldn't be able to nurse". - Uhhhh. What? I don't even understand this one. Boobs aren't like a motor vehicle. You don't need to move from the two seater sports car to the minivan when you have kids.
I can't be the only person subjected to crazy, inane comments while nursing! Go on...post your favorite in the comments section! And I'm sure that it's not only nursing moms who get criticism. (Ever notice how EVERYONE knows how your baby should be raised and isn't afraid to tell you how wrong you are?) Post you favorite/most bizarre feeding comment!
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
Disclaimer: I breastfed my kids, of you didn't I still think that you are a perfectly good mother who loves her children. I don't think that you are poisoning them by feeding them formula. This isn't that sort of breastfeeding post...just so you know.
My boobs have been professionally employed for the last 8 years. I have nursed two boy children well into toddlerhood and plan to do the same with the third. I have nursed them pretty much everywhere from the mall to The Mall. (Hee hee, see what I did there? The second Mall is the area of our nations capital.) Recently a facebook friend mentioned some of the rediclous things people have said to her while nursing. Here is a small collection of the bizarre things that I personally have heard.
"Breastfeeding is SO hard.". - This is SO not true. I'm not one to subject myself to extra work. If something is hard, I'm probably not going to do it. Breastfeeding is a little hard to get started with, but once you and your baby get the hang of it, you can do it in your sleep - literally. Breastfeeding is, quite frankly, ideal for lazy moms like me. There is no mixing of formula, nothing ever needs to be heated up and there are no bottles to wash.
"You'll have to stop once he gets teeth". - Not really. Babies learn pretty quickly not to bite the boob that feeds them. I'm pretty sure that the screaming is a big deterent.
"It must be hard to have to feed every two hours". - Mind you, someone said this when my son was 10 months old. Breastmilk isn't some magical elixier of youth (I'd be rich I'd it were!). Breastfed babies grow up and eat solid food just like formula fed babies. You don't have to formula feed every 2 hours, so why wpuld you have to breastfeeding every two hours?
"The nurse could tell just by looking at that I wouldn't be able to nurse". - Uhhhh. What? I don't even understand this one. Boobs aren't like a motor vehicle. You don't need to move from the two seater sports car to the minivan when you have kids.
I can't be the only person subjected to crazy, inane comments while nursing! Go on...post your favorite in the comments section! And I'm sure that it's not only nursing moms who get criticism. (Ever notice how EVERYONE knows how your baby should be raised and isn't afraid to tell you how wrong you are?) Post you favorite/most bizarre feeding comment!
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Flying solo
So we have all arrived back in NoVa and things are getting back to normal.
Haa haa haa... That is a blatant lie. My husband has embarked in a 30 day vacation business trip overseas. I am officially a solo parent of three boys for one month...and summer vacation is only 2 weeks away.
They say that you never really appreciate something until it's gone. Let me just say that my husband only had to be gone for about 8 hours before I began to do some major appreciating.
For example, we went to the pool on Monday night. My family Is KNOWN for being at the pool after dinner. It is totally our thing and I wasn't going to give it up just because 1/5 of us were gone. As it turns out that 1/5 is a vital component of successful pooling. One of my boys is a great swimmer and is fine in his own in the pool. The other two think that they are.
With two adults we can each take one kid. With only one adult, one kid is pretty much left to drown. Fortunatly the middle kid is a good enough swimmer not to actually drown...but not by very much.
Then there are the logistics of getting everything done. Who will hang up the wet towels while I get the kids out of their bathing suits? Who will mow the lawn? I'm going to need to hire a manservant for the next month. Either that or invite my in-laws down. *Shudder*
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
Haa haa haa... That is a blatant lie. My husband has embarked in a 30 day
They say that you never really appreciate something until it's gone. Let me just say that my husband only had to be gone for about 8 hours before I began to do some major appreciating.
For example, we went to the pool on Monday night. My family Is KNOWN for being at the pool after dinner. It is totally our thing and I wasn't going to give it up just because 1/5 of us were gone. As it turns out that 1/5 is a vital component of successful pooling. One of my boys is a great swimmer and is fine in his own in the pool. The other two think that they are.
With two adults we can each take one kid. With only one adult, one kid is pretty much left to drown. Fortunatly the middle kid is a good enough swimmer not to actually drown...but not by very much.
Then there are the logistics of getting everything done. Who will hang up the wet towels while I get the kids out of their bathing suits? Who will mow the lawn? I'm going to need to hire a manservant for the next month. Either that or invite my in-laws down. *Shudder*
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Food is love?
Let me preface this post by saying that I come from a large Italian family, so the following may not be true for everyone.
Very shortly after my father died food began arriving at our home. First, 2 dozen bagles, a box of paistries and a bunch of cream cheese. Shortly after, an enormouse sub type sandwich with potato salad. I had just managed to jam it all in the fridge when my cousin arrived with an entire ham dinner, complete with three side dishes, a pecan pie and a loaf of rye bread.
I won't even go into the food left over after the post memorial service luncheon.
All this food presents a whole new opportunity for guilt. As you may have heard, wasting food is a sin. Oddly, providing 2 average sized women and a 4 year old kid with more perishable food than they can possibly manage to consume in a month is not only NOT a sin, but a blessing. Someone should rethink that. I'm just saying.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Over
Before the process of removing life support has actually begun the patient is given several drugs. Morphine, presumably for pain, something to dry up "secretions" (more on that later) and finally an anti-anxity drug. It's the final one that gives me pause.
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I associate anxiety with, I dunno, brain functioning. Isn't the premise here that that sort of thing is no longer taking place? Or is the anti-anxiety drug really to alleviate the anxiety that we may feel regarding any anxiety that HE may feel....It seems that some of these drugs are really more for the comfort of the family members than the patient.
This brings me back to the "dry up" medication. That is so that once the tubes are removed he doesn't have to breath through any sort of liquids, again....seems more for us than for him.
Also, when you are discussing the removal of life support with the doctors and nurses they start to watch their words very carefully. Noone says anything about removal or pulling plugs (by the way...all the machines have off switches, you don't need to actually pull the plugs out of the wall). They says things like "Focusing on comfort" or "Easing the transition". This is all well and good...I suppose I'm a little more direct than a lot of folks.
Finally, in my ongoing series "Life ain't like TV", once everything is removed things don't just gradually slow down. You don't watch the heart rate monitor dip to 80 and then 64 and then 42 and then 12, followed by a long beep. The doctors warn you that it may take "a while". Well, let me tell you, "a while" is a relative term. The nursing staff puts a laminated picture of a cartooney star on the door to the patient's room once the whole process has begin....that star sat on my dad's door for nearly 20 hours. Fact is, eventually, it is a relief for it all to be over.
So this is where we are now. For me, it is really just the body that is gone now. As far as I am concerned, as soon as his brain stopped working my dad was gone. I'm a lot like my father that way....practical. My mother is more spiritual and I'm pretty sure that she was holding out hope till close to the end.
The memorial service is planned for Saturday, after which, I promise to be less morbid and disturbing. Until then, thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I associate anxiety with, I dunno, brain functioning. Isn't the premise here that that sort of thing is no longer taking place? Or is the anti-anxiety drug really to alleviate the anxiety that we may feel regarding any anxiety that HE may feel....It seems that some of these drugs are really more for the comfort of the family members than the patient.
This brings me back to the "dry up" medication. That is so that once the tubes are removed he doesn't have to breath through any sort of liquids, again....seems more for us than for him.
Also, when you are discussing the removal of life support with the doctors and nurses they start to watch their words very carefully. Noone says anything about removal or pulling plugs (by the way...all the machines have off switches, you don't need to actually pull the plugs out of the wall). They says things like "Focusing on comfort" or "Easing the transition". This is all well and good...I suppose I'm a little more direct than a lot of folks.
Finally, in my ongoing series "Life ain't like TV", once everything is removed things don't just gradually slow down. You don't watch the heart rate monitor dip to 80 and then 64 and then 42 and then 12, followed by a long beep. The doctors warn you that it may take "a while". Well, let me tell you, "a while" is a relative term. The nursing staff puts a laminated picture of a cartooney star on the door to the patient's room once the whole process has begin....that star sat on my dad's door for nearly 20 hours. Fact is, eventually, it is a relief for it all to be over.
So this is where we are now. For me, it is really just the body that is gone now. As far as I am concerned, as soon as his brain stopped working my dad was gone. I'm a lot like my father that way....practical. My mother is more spiritual and I'm pretty sure that she was holding out hope till close to the end.
The memorial service is planned for Saturday, after which, I promise to be less morbid and disturbing. Until then, thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Neurotrauma
The first thing that you notice when you enter the neurotrauma ward is just how quiet it is. My only other experience in a hospital has been the three times that I gave birth to my kids. The labor and maternity wards are always pretty noisy. Be it babies crying, laboring women screaming for epidurals or proud fathers and siblings bringing flowers and balloons...there was always some sort of commotion. In the neurotrauma ward, nothing goes on. There are no balloons or flowers...there isn't even any meal service.
There are 12 rooms, each containing their own personal little tragidies. 12 ventilators hissing and the occasional mysterious clicking, but that is just about all.
While I can't speek to the 11 other tragidies on the ward, I know that ours will soon come to an end. As to my fathers wishes, we have decided to remove the hissing ventilator and the odd clicking machine and let nature take it's inevitable course.
It's not like in the movies where you tell the nurse that you are ready and it all happens. There is waiting...a lot of waiting.
We're still waiting.....
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
There are 12 rooms, each containing their own personal little tragidies. 12 ventilators hissing and the occasional mysterious clicking, but that is just about all.
While I can't speek to the 11 other tragidies on the ward, I know that ours will soon come to an end. As to my fathers wishes, we have decided to remove the hissing ventilator and the odd clicking machine and let nature take it's inevitable course.
It's not like in the movies where you tell the nurse that you are ready and it all happens. There is waiting...a lot of waiting.
We're still waiting.....
- Posted by Krista from my iPhone
Sunday, May 30, 2010
If you know me, you know that I'm not particularly fond of public displays of emotion. Or at least my own public displays. I'm just not really the type of person who talks about "feelings", especially bad feelings. I really hate to look that people give you when you tell them that something awful has happened to you.
So what I'm about to write is difficult for me on several levels, but I'm going to post it, if only to avoid future awkwardness.
Right now, my father is in the hospital. He fell down and hit his head. The doctors did surgery to relieve pressure and all that. It's been a long time since my father was really healthy and it seems that this was really the final straw. He is hooked up to a ventilator and feeding tubes and what the hell ever else they hook you up to now a days. It was his wishes, however, that these sorts of things not be used to prolong his life, so it will all be removed in the next day or two. There is little to no chance that he will ever improve, so we are honoring his desires. I don't mean to sound callous, but please do not offer prayers that he will get well, because, quite frankly, I can't hold on to that sort of thing. I may not talk about my feelings, but I am the sort of person who needs to deal with them.
So, that is what it is. There will be a memorial service held on Saturday and then on Sunday my husband has to leave for a month long business trip. Just dealing with the physical logistics of getting everyone where they need to be at the right time is overwhelming.
So I'm offering fair warning that things will likely be a bit morose here for a few days. But I'm not one to dwell, I will muddle through this. I will take comfort in the life that my father led and the support of my family.
Maybe take a little break from reading my blog for a few days if you don't want to hear the depressing crap....but come back, because I promise to have some fun stuff soon.....if not for you then for myself.
So what I'm about to write is difficult for me on several levels, but I'm going to post it, if only to avoid future awkwardness.
Right now, my father is in the hospital. He fell down and hit his head. The doctors did surgery to relieve pressure and all that. It's been a long time since my father was really healthy and it seems that this was really the final straw. He is hooked up to a ventilator and feeding tubes and what the hell ever else they hook you up to now a days. It was his wishes, however, that these sorts of things not be used to prolong his life, so it will all be removed in the next day or two. There is little to no chance that he will ever improve, so we are honoring his desires. I don't mean to sound callous, but please do not offer prayers that he will get well, because, quite frankly, I can't hold on to that sort of thing. I may not talk about my feelings, but I am the sort of person who needs to deal with them.
So, that is what it is. There will be a memorial service held on Saturday and then on Sunday my husband has to leave for a month long business trip. Just dealing with the physical logistics of getting everyone where they need to be at the right time is overwhelming.
So I'm offering fair warning that things will likely be a bit morose here for a few days. But I'm not one to dwell, I will muddle through this. I will take comfort in the life that my father led and the support of my family.
Maybe take a little break from reading my blog for a few days if you don't want to hear the depressing crap....but come back, because I promise to have some fun stuff soon.....if not for you then for myself.
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