If you know me, you know that I'm not particularly fond of public displays of emotion. Or at least my own public displays. I'm just not really the type of person who talks about "feelings", especially bad feelings. I really hate to look that people give you when you tell them that something awful has happened to you.
So what I'm about to write is difficult for me on several levels, but I'm going to post it, if only to avoid future awkwardness.
Right now, my father is in the hospital. He fell down and hit his head. The doctors did surgery to relieve pressure and all that. It's been a long time since my father was really healthy and it seems that this was really the final straw. He is hooked up to a ventilator and feeding tubes and what the hell ever else they hook you up to now a days. It was his wishes, however, that these sorts of things not be used to prolong his life, so it will all be removed in the next day or two. There is little to no chance that he will ever improve, so we are honoring his desires. I don't mean to sound callous, but please do not offer prayers that he will get well, because, quite frankly, I can't hold on to that sort of thing. I may not talk about my feelings, but I am the sort of person who needs to deal with them.
So, that is what it is. There will be a memorial service held on Saturday and then on Sunday my husband has to leave for a month long business trip. Just dealing with the physical logistics of getting everyone where they need to be at the right time is overwhelming.
So I'm offering fair warning that things will likely be a bit morose here for a few days. But I'm not one to dwell, I will muddle through this. I will take comfort in the life that my father led and the support of my family.
Maybe take a little break from reading my blog for a few days if you don't want to hear the depressing crap....but come back, because I promise to have some fun stuff soon.....if not for you then for myself.