Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The stupid psychic and why I don't go to McDonalds

I have amazing psychic powers. Unfortunatly, I am also amazingly stupid. I know full well that things I do will turn out badly, yet I still do them. I believe that that may be the definition of insanity.

Let me illustrate my point with the story of a recent road trip I took with my 3 boys.

This story actualyl takes place during the 5 hour drive home. It starts, as all good stories should, with a giant cup of coffee. When I purchased this enormous beverage I knew full well that consuming it would mean that I would need to pee as soon as the baby fell asleep. I still drank it. And, as predicted, the very moment my little one drifted peacefully to sleep I had to drag him (and my other two boys) into the joy that is a turnpike rest stop.

In order to stop the resulting whining, I agreed to allow each of them to pick out a bottle of pop. The both picked purple grape soda. Oh yes....the alarm bells went off in my head as well. But something, sleep deprivation, insanity, plain old stupidity, told me that it would be fine. Stop laughing..... Of course, I now have a big purple stain on the carpet in my car. Fortunatly the good people at Toyota are as smart as I am psychic and have made those carpets crazy stain resistant.

Roughly 47 seconds after leavin the rest stop, the 4 year old boy, who only 6 seconds ago refused to even consider going to the bathroom, had to go....NOW! I told him that he would have to hold it as the next rest stop about 30 minutes away. I knew that I should have stopped on the side of the road and let him go...I knew he wouldn't make it. Did I stop...nope. He was a trooper, he held on all the way to the rear stop but the combination of holding and walking proove to be too much for him. Poor kid peed his pants just outside the rest stop. The fact that he DIDN'T wet his carseat was an enormous blessing.

And then there was McDonald's. I am not a fan of McDonalds, but the kids needed a break and I was getting desperate. Frankly, I knew it was a bad idea. We pulled off the road and found McD's with a play area. My boys ran into the tunnel thing and immedietly ran out yelling "ewwww!".

What, you ask, could gross out a 7 year old boy? Poop. Right there in the play area. We immedietly vacated the area and I attempted to stearilize my children with purell. Being the good citizen that I am, I went back inside to inform the manager.

I pulled her aside, and said "I think that someone had an accident in the play area." She said "oh...okay".

Um....excuse me? No rush to shut the play area? No offer to comp my coffee? Not even an appology??? Flumoxed, I loaded my kids back into the car, applied another 3 gallons of purell and pulled out of the parking lot. As we were leaving, I looked in my rear view mirror only to see two unsuspecting children clammoring into the play area.

I vowed that we would not leave the car again until we arrived safely home...once again, I was, of course, correct.

- Posted by Krista from my iPhone


  1. Disgusting!

    My boys love McDonalds...but I let Grandma take them while I stay away.

  2. Oh lord.. I am so happy to read your chaos.

    we are kin