Spiff it up Sunday - The Pearly Whites

This week for spiff it up Sunday I'm all about the teeth. 


Most of you probably don't know that I am a bit of a toothpaste connoisseur.  Even as a child I was never really satisfied with the toothpaste that my parents bought.  The taste was wrong or they didn't bubble correctly or they were a weird color....You get the picture.  Of course back in the day there were only about 3 types of toothpaste to choose from, not the cornucopia of dental hygiene products that we have today.  This week's topic took me to the toothpaste isle at Target where I counted more than 35 different types of toothpaste.  (The world's largest collection of toothpaste contains more than 1800 different tubes and is available for public viewing in Saginaw, Michigan.)  So clearly your toothpaste options are petty wide open. 

Since my gums can only  take a limited amount of cleansing I limited my testing to three different types of toothpaste, Arm & Hammer Peroxi-care, Tom's of Maine Natural total care, and Citrus flavored Toothsoap. (Disclaimer - the Toothsoap was provided to me free of charge by the manufacturer.)  I judged each product on a number of factors including flavor, bubbles, grit, cleaning and other.

Let's start with the Arm & Hammer Peroxi-care.  Frankly, this is pretty much your standard toothpaste.  There were no real surprises here since I've been using similar products for the past 35 years.  The taste was extremely minty, take your breath away minty.  I have to admit that I, personally, am not a fan of the over the top mint....it's just too much for me.  The bubbling factor was fair, the bubble were sort of loose and dribbly, not exactly what I prefer, but at least there were some bubbles.  It was not particularly gritty, but as the whole point of toothpaste is to be somewhat gritty, there was a minor grit factor which was enhance by the presence of baking soda.  This toothpaste did a fine job of cleaning my teeth, nothing spectacular, but pretty much your standard job. Other things to consider with this produce include the fact that it is sweetened using saccharin.  This product also contains fluoride, which can be a double edged sword.  Fluoride is poisonous and can be fatal at high concentrations, but is also reduces cavities at lower (non fatal) concentrations.  Depending upon your feelings about fluoride this may be a pro or a con.

The second produce is the Tom's of Maine Natural Whole Care anti-cavity and tartar control plus whitening fluoride toothpaste....did  they miss any thing in that product name?  The flavor of the Tom's of Maine was much much milder than that of the first product.  This is probably because it is sweetened with Xylitol (A natural sugar substitute) insted of Saccharin.  Where this product really lost me was in the bubbles - or lack there of.  There were absolutly NO bubbles when using this product...call me old fashioned, but I like the bubbles.  Tom's of Maine was not at all gritty, and seemed to clean as well as the regular toothpaste.  I like that this product is all natural and actually wasn't as expensive as I had expected.  While I couldn't get past the no bubbling thing I will say that we ave use the kid's strawberry stuff for our kids and they absolutely LOVE it.

Finally we have the toothsoap.  This product was not really what I expected.  First off, it's not a toothpaste it is a soap.  It comes as a liquid that you drip onto your toothbrush.  I got the citrus flavor, but this product comes is a load of flavors, everything from your standard spearmint all the way out to honey BBQ.  The flavor was not at all overwhelming, it was probably the mildest of all three products that I tried.  To be honest, the soapy taste does take a little getting used to, but I found that eventually I sort of enjoyed it.  One of the big selling points for me was the bubble action.  The Toothsoap sprang into action creating thick, dense bubbles....just the kind I prefer.  It was not at all gritty as it is a soap and not a paste.  But the final straw was the cleaning power.  I came out of brushing my teeth with this stuff feeling that I had just left the dentist...without all the scraping.  It was really quite lovely. 

So in conclusion I have to go with superior bubbling and cleaning of the Toothsoap.  Second place it a toss up as the non-bubbling Toms and too minty A&H are pretty much tied in my book.  If you are interested in trying some toothsoap for yourself, you're in luck!   I'm giving a bottle of toothsoap to two lucky readers.  Leave a comment below telling me what your most important factor in tooth cleaning products is for entry.  I'll announce the winners on next week's Spiff it up Sunday post!

Post it note Tuesday!

Spiff it up Sunday - The window to the Soul

Welcome to the first installment of Spiff it up Sunday. Today we are talking about the eyes because they ARE the window to your soul...or some other crap that someone made up.

Before that, however, I want to tell Nalamienea, who totally (and rightfully) called me out for not wearing sunscreen that I bought some from Olay and have been wearing it religiously for the past week.  It's not as bad as I thought it would be. 
 
If you recall, my main issues were under eye puffiness and general make-up stupidity.

This week I tried out three products. The first was recommended by MommaPebz Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew anti-puff eye roller. First off...this product took less time to use than to type so there is a plus right there.  From the box:
results
Instantly: eyes look renewed and refreshed
in 1 week:  uner-eye puffiness is reduced and women saw dark circles diminished
With continued use:  the severity of puffiness is further reduced and dark circles stay minimized.

Okay....Three photos:

Pre-Treatment

Immedietly post-treatment

~1 week of treatment

The lighting is  a little different and factors such as amount of sleep and general craziness of me day were not mitigated, but I think that the puffiness may have been a bit less in the last photo.  My conclusion is that the bit about instant results is crap...I think that my eyes look worse in the immediately post treatment photo.  But, the bit about continued use may be right.  I think that there is less puffiness and less dark circles.  Well see if this product can keep up when the kids are out of school.....it will be harder to apply because my eyes will be twitching.

I also tried out two make-uppy products this week.  The first was recommended by Supahmommy and is Clinique's Cream Eyeliner in deep brown.  The other one is Cover Girl Eye Brightening Shadow Pallet that I got because I thought I looked a little stoopid with eyeliner and no shadow.   Here is some before and after action for you.

Before

After

And because I don't walk around with my eyes closed (usually)

I put this on myself...when the lady at the Clinique counter put the eyeliner on I looked like a painted whore (or at least I thought I did).  Just a little tip, Clinique Lady, when someone comes to you and says "I was told to buy this eyeliner, but I don't know how to use it."  It's probably best to have a bit of a light hand.  Rome wasn't built in a day ...or painted for that matter.  

I don't hate it....though I think that I look a little like a half made up drag queen in that last shot.  Maybe it's the lighting.  Or the goofy half smile.  I think it may take some getting used to.

I learned a few lessons this week:

1.  Eye make-up is really hard to get off.
2.  Some Clinique employees don't understand moderation.  Or the natural look.
3.  it's hard to get a good photo of your own eyes. 

4.  You CAN still buy blue eyeshadow (and liner if you are so moved) but that doesn't make it right.

Next week we are talking teeth.  And the week after I'm going to tackle the rest of the make-up issue with lips and blush...any and all suggestions are welcome requested OH DEAR GOD...just PLEASE help me!!

A note to the Fashion Industry

Dear fashion designer,
As part of my spiff it up goal I recently purchased a pair of shorts. These shorts claim to be made for "women" but bear very little resembelence to the form of a real human woman.

Let me explain.

I realize that, as you work in the fashion industry, you probably have little contact with real women so I will provide some visual assistance. Real women do not, typically, look like this:

More frequently they look like this:

It's okay, we all feel betrayed by cosmo at one time or another. I'll wait while you pull yourself back together.

Ok? Good.

This body structure is due to a number of factors. For example, many woman have actually produced new, very small, people in their bodies! In order to facilitate the removal of these small people, often refered to as children, nature has kindly provided women with an anatomical structure known as "hips". These hips are located below the waist and protrude from the body.

Additionally, many real women enjoy engaging in the consumption of what is known as "food". Some of us indulge in this activity more than others resuling in what is commonly refered to as a "butt", "heiny", "ass", "rear", or even "junk in the trunk". This anatomical addition is not abnormal and is, in fact, thought to be a valuable asset by some parties. (Mix-a-lot, S. 1992)

Now you are a smart person and can probably see where I'm going with this, but let me continue. When you try to put shorts made for a (fictional) woman like this:

Onto a real woman shaped like this:

What results is a gap in the back of the shorts. This gap is irresistable to children (remember them?) and husbands who think that it is hillarious to throw raisins, coins or any other small object down there everytime the woman bends over. This activity is, in fact, NOT hillarious.

So, as you are preparing your new line or entry for project runway or whatever it is that you do, please remember:

NOT

Birthday and Goal Setting

On Friday I will finally meet all the requirements to become president of the United States of America.  (I'm expecting your vote in November.)  As a newly minted potential presidential candidate I felt that it would be prudent to set some long term goals.  Truth be told I am a very goals oriented person.  I need to have something to strive for or else I feel like I'm just treading water.

I have identified two long term goals.

1.  Get my act together.  I realize that this seems a little vague, but let me explain.  I have never been the kind of person who took care of herself.  I don't put on make-up, I don't wear moisturizer with SPF50, I don't even shave my legs on a regular basis (especially in the winter).  I'm going to change that.  I'm going to endeavor to spiff myself up.  Problem is, I have NO IDEA how to do that.  I don't wear make-up because I don't know how to put it on.  I don't use the SPF stuff because I can't find one that doesn't feel like I'm spreading motor oil on my face.  I don't wear nice cloths because I have no style and don't know what to buy.  Any my hair...let's not even go there...I'm a disaster.  I need help people.  Let me show you what I'm talking about.  This first picture is me on my wedding day:

Look at me, I'm practically translucent.  You'd think someone would have held me down and put a little blush on me or something....eyeliner??  Anyone??  Where WERE my bridesmaids??

Frankly, things have not improved much over the intervening 13 years.  Here is me just a few months ago:

Sad really.  So I'm looking to you blogosphere.  Recommend a moisturizer....tell me how to fix my hair...send me a t-shirt that wasn't produced during the Bush Administration (I'm talking the first Bush here!!)  I will share my discoveries with any fellow ascetically disinclined readers out there.

I realize that this all seems very superficial....but fact is, I have been working on the "inner" me for 35 years now.  I have a Masters Degree in Molecular Biology, I have birthed and (partially) raised 3 kids, I like to think that I am a reasonably kind and giving person.  I'm done developing character....its time to develop a sense of style.

Goal number 2.....oh yeah..you know you want to know.  Check back tomorrow, it'll be worth it!!