What I didn't mean to say

I am not a particularly socially savvy person. My internal speech monitor lacks the ability to formulate socially acceptable speech, and as a result I usually say exactly what I'm thinking. As a result I often try not to open my mouth since that is the only way that I can be sure not to stick my foot in it.

This affliction is a double edged sword. On one hand I say exactly what mean, even if it is a socially questionable statement. On the other hand, I mean what I say, so you can be pretty sure that I'm not lying to you.

Sometimes I worry that when I do speak up people think that being insulting or snarky. Really, I'm just not smart enough to pull that sort of thing off.

So in an attempt to disspell the rumor that I'm a snarky bitch I'm going to tell you what I DIDN'T mean to say.

When I asked a Twitter friend "Can Mormons use alcohol based hand sanitizer?".

what I DIDN'T mean to say was "You Mormons are so crazy that I bet you don't even use alcohol hand sanitizer."
what I DID mean to say was "I heard on NPR that some Muslims don't use alcohol based hand sanitizer and because I always need to know everything about everyone I'm wondering if Mormons can use it."

When I told my neighbors friend, who had just told me that he works for the Heritage Foundation, "I know what that is, I listen to NPR."

what I DIDN'T mean to say was "Oh....lookie me...I'm so smart because I listen to NPR."

what I DID mean to say was "I've heard of the Heritage Foundation and how cool is it that you work someplace mentioned on NPR?"

So, Next time we have a little chat remember that I'm totally transparent...I have no deeper meaning.

By the way... Down there where it says posted from my iPhone. I'm NOT saying "I have an iPhone nee ner nee ner nee ner".

What I AM saying is "I wrote this using my thumbs on the tiny screen of my iPhone because I have three kids and rarely have use of both hands."


- Posted by Krista from my iPhone